Determine your conflict style

Conflict is a natural and normal part of any human interaction; there is nothing unusual about the conflict in itself. It is what we do about it when it occurs which is important.

Complete 15 questions to determine what your conflict style is.

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What happens when relationships start to go unpleasant and wiles creep in?

How can you deal with conflict so that neither of you gets badly hurt, and the relationship does not suffer?

Better still, are there good ways in which you can turn the situation around and rescue your relationship?

Is ‘getting it out into the open’ a good thing?

Conflict in a Relationship

A conflict in a relationship may be defined as any kind of difference, including a fight, or an ongoing series of disagreements, for example, about how to spend money. Conflict can be very stressful, but it can also act to ‘clear the air’, surfacing issues that need discussion.

Conflicts and disagreements may result in us becoming angry, and they may also arise because we have become angry about something else. At work, we might try to control our anger and shun saying things we might regret. At home, unfortunately, we are much more likely to say hurtful things to others as a result. There are also less likely to be others around who can mediate, and disagreements therefore quickly escalate in a way that might not happen at work.

This means that conflict in a relationship can rapidly become very unpleasant, and also very personal.

Sadly, when we are close to people, we often know how best to hurt them. In anger, that may be precisely what we want to do, however much we regret it later.

Five strategies for dealing with conflict:

1.    Compete or Fight, the classic win/lose condition, where the strength and power of one person wins the conflict.

2.    Denial or Avoidance, where you pretend there is no problem.

3.    Smoothing over the Problem, where you preserve harmony on the surface, but do not resolve the conflict.

4.    Compromise or Negotiation, where both give something up to create a middle ground.

5.    Collaboration, working together to create a shared outcome.