FATHER'S DAY JUNE 19, 2016...READ SOME OF THESE JOKES TO YOUR DAD
Dad holds a special place in our hearts, and on Father’s Day, he deserves
the best! Pass our funniest fatherhood submissions on to a dad in your
life and share the priceless gift of laughter!
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
Of course, the kids are eager to know what the meat is. They ask their dad for the clue.
“Well,” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it! It’s a *ucking a$shole.”
Three middle-aged men are golfing one day. All are proud parents, and so they begin to brag about their children.
“My son is doing incredibly well for himself,” the first man says. “He’s a lawyer, and he’s just rolling in the money! In fact, he has so much money that he bought his friend a sports car.”
The second man says, “I can top that. My son is even wealthier! He’s a skilled brain surgeon; he makes a fortune. He has so much money that he bought his friend a huge house.”
“What about you, Frank?” the two men ask their friend.
Frank sheepishly looks at his feet. “Well, my son is, um … well, he’s in gay porn.”
His two friends express their condolences before Frank speaks one more:
“Still, I guess he’s doing well for himself. After all, he has a huge house and drives a brand-new sports car.”
The Italian Tomato Garden
An old Italian man lived alone in the country. It was Spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the aging man as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was currently in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire area. However, they didn't find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
WHAT CAN YOU GIVE YOUR DAD OR YOUR GRANDPA FOR A PRESENT FOR NEXT YEARS
How about a ROLEX Watch?
a brand new car?
a vacation package to the place he'd
been dreaming to go...with all the accommodations and everything needed for a luxury
vacation.......and $10,000 cash for spending money?
PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT. SERIOUSLY
Dad and Grandpa are both getting old and I want you to think of showing
for everything they did for you
......and YES......you can do all or part of those suggestions that I recommended to
you.....you may even consider allowing Dad or Grandpa a blonde or a redhead to go
with him!! ......I'd call that SUPERFACIFRAGISTIC- EXPIALLY-DOXIOUS
......or as the song said: oopah, oopah, gangnam style
oopah, oopah gangname style....hey, se*y lady. oopah, oopah gangname style
oopah, oopah, gangnam style.
OK, sorry about that...the sailor within me is thinking of the great days I had
when I did my 27 years and 2 months of active duty in foreign countries.
Let me get back to how you can give your Dad or Grandpa a great present.
I will show you a program that will earn you the money that will set you free
in a year or less....this program is the fastest way to financial and time freedom.
Affordable for everyone, and the company will build your downline for
you...in addition to the company helping you....I will also plug you in to a
TEAM BUILD...that will speedup your earnings so that you will have enough money
before FATHER'S DAY next year.....maybe even enough to have a blonde,
a redhead and a brunette to go with Dad.....wooohooo!....oopah, oopah gangnam style
YES Chief I want my DAD and Granpa to sing OOPAH,OOPAH
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